Toni & Tahnee's Story
Toni started mediation with our talk²sort service when her daughter Tahnee was 12, after their relationship became particularly strained.
She told us about her experience:
“Me and Tahnee were going through a really rough time. Tahnee started High School and I was going through a really busy period in my life as well. We were really struggling with our relationship and didn’t know how to overcome any of our objections.
“As a child starting High School, it can be really difficult and there was quite a few changes going on.
“At the same time I was going through my last year at University so I had a lot of pressure on me and we were also going through a family bereavement as well.
“Everything rolling together just caused this breakdown in our relationship. I started to think if something doesn’t change now, we’re going to struggle through Tahnee’s teenage years to actually have a relationship; I think it’s so important for a mum and daughter to have a good relationship.”
“In the beginning, when I first met with Touhida, she came to my house she was ever so lovely. She really assured me that we could work together and make the situation better.”
“My mind wasn’t in a very good place because our relationship was totally in shatters; Tahnee had moved in with her dad and I’d looked after her for 12 years, so things were massively up in the air."
“For the first few months, we were working separately. I did wonder if we were going to do joint sessions, but now looking back I can see it was a process that we had to go through, working separately in order to come together.
“We started the mediation sessions together over six months ago now and with each session our faces just got more smiley: we were happier. We worked through things and realised that if we can compromise together and learn to respect each other more, things can be so different.
“Now we’ve finished our mediation sessions mine and Tahnee’s relationship is unrecognisable from how it was 12 months ago.”
Tahnee, now 13, agreed that the mediation sessions had made a huge difference, saying:
“Before mediation sessions started, I felt down, upset, confused and quite angry.
“Touhida would come to the school and we would go into a room so that we were around people but no one could hear.
“We would talk about stuff: what was bothering me and what had happened. We would do these ‘blobs’, which represented ‘how I was feeling’ and we’d write down why.
“The mediation sessions helped because when Touhida would read it back, I could reflect on what I was doing wrong. I saw how I could improve on mine and mum’s relationship without me doing those things again.
“I would recommend talk²sort because it helps families get over their problems, just like it did with me and my mum.”
Sitting happily next to her daughter, Toni added: “I can’t thank The Bridge enough for everything that they’ve done."
“If there any parents out there that are struggling with their children and they can’t seem to come up with a resolution, just speak up. There is help out there.
“If I hadn’t have contacted talk²sort, I don’t really know where mine and Tahnee’s relationship would be right now.”
If you would like more information on talk²sort, please visit the webpage.